@treywafer: I put the "m" in illiterate
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@PJTLynch:  "Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out
@Steelers1972: The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini.
@rmfnord: If I was a ghost, I'd write "Happy Birthday" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday.