@Cheeseboy22: I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants.
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@markydoodoo: If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg.
@LizHackett: "Dammit. I had shit planned today." -- a spider being carried out of the house with a cup and piece of paper
@batkaren: [Cretaceous Period] T-REX: *eating pterodactyl, sad* I just wish it were meatier... DRUNK GUARDIAN ANGEL: A meteor? Tha's weird but ok 1 sec
@Sickayduh: Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here