@hunz74: I quit drinking and my beer belly is now a pot belly.
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@iwearaonesie: My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
@ceejoyner: Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs.
@JohnLyonTweets: [meeting] Boss: What do you think? Me: I think we need to get out in front of this. If we're not on top of it, it will roll over us and we'll never get out from under it. Can everybody get behind that? Boss: You're not allowed to talk anymore.