@Pork_Chop_Hair: I quit enjoying makeup sex when I realized he looked better in mascara and blush than I do.
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@semple42: Don't think I won't spin around and French kiss you if you're standing too close to me in line at the liquor store.
@ericsshadow: Broke my ankle at 19 years old and didn't miss a single day waiting tables. Last week I took 3 days off work because my cat had diarrhea.
@TheWoodenslurpy: [commercial for gymnastics] Want to delay menarche and stunt your lumbar growth, but also risk getting crotch punched by a four-inch beam?