@eliserose5: I quit watching awards shows, because I never win anything.
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@dank_dino: *judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*
@twink_mufc: There is a lady who just asked me if Arsenal is a series! I asked her why?She told me that all Arsenal fans usually wait for the next season
@Reverend_Scott: "So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?" [pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs] ...I love to help animals.
@TheAlexP: Her: How'd you get those weird scars on your arm? *remembers wrestling kid for last piece of birthday cake & getting sporked* Rattle snake