@eliserose5: I quit watching awards shows, because I never win anything.
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@Storminika: Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn't good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony.
@lloydrang: If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you.
@Dawn_M_: People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
@007Rex_Inc: M: Come to bed... Her: I have a headache M: You're a robot! H: M: H: ...SELF DESTRUCT [BOOM] M: Nice try but you're still under warranty!