@RickAaron: "I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
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@virgiltexas: You cowards just love watching the NFL Draft while you're all too chickenshit to go off and serve in the football yourselves.
@rolldiggity: 1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it.
@Iwriteforcats: MEN: Developed Theory of Relatively. Walked on the Moon. Painted the Mona Lisa. Baffled by bra hooks.
@tigersgoroooar: Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them.