@PeachCoffin: I ran a whole 5K and didn't even eradicate cancer
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@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*
@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
@l0ttiehall: Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision.
@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.