@PeachCoffin: I ran a whole 5K and didn't even eradicate cancer
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja.
@manwhohasitall: Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'.
@Lisa_Laughs_: I know two wrongs don't make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I'm like on 756.