@PeachCoffin: I ran a whole 5K and didn't even eradicate cancer
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@ewfeez: If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say "I've gotta take this" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested.
@BevisSimpson: Its really disgusting how other white people dont even know about the plight of [quickly wikipedias "Who is having alot of plight 2012]
@WilliamAder: I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
@TheIronSherk: *turns on deep-fryer* *tosses in chicken nuggets* *adds chamomile and lavender* *recites from the Book of Shadows* Voila, Wiccan Nuggets