@robyn_vo: I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.
@thepunningman: [doctors] "How long have I got?" "Not long. Two, three months" [casually places apple on desk] "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"
@just1fool: Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.
@AimeeHelene1: *puts finger over your lips* Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *feeds you more applesauce making airplane noises*