@TheRolo: I ran out of coffee this morning, beer seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*
@russbengtson: The fact that Gunplay pulled a gun on his accountant doesn't shock me nearly as much as the fact that Gunplay has an accountant.
@SuperRandomish: Me: *singing "Don't stop believing"* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit
@nicfit75: My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.