@SlipperySecret: I ran out of excuses to get out of family gatherings, so I moved out of state.
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@Kendragarden: Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
@UnFitz: Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*
@junejuly12: If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not.