@TGIJeff: I react to the phrase "open bar" the way my dog reacts to everything
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@MarfSalvador: My ability to attract girls has increased exponentially since I started my new hobby 'crying whilst pushing round an empty stroller'
@NurseSeymour: You never really know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last. Snow, maybe.
@TheAlexNevil: Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?