@hazelmotes1: I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day
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@sixthformpoet: If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world.
@therealeatwood: Did you see saw? I saw Saw. You see Saw II? I saw Saw II too. Going to see Saw IV? I didn’t see Saw III, what am I going to see Saw IV for?
@vineyille: Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits