@hazelmotes1: I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day
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@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
@SchooIAnswer: What is love?
@Izianikapani: I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography.
@sfreeze6: [2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)
@FaisalAdam_: Spider-man never tweets via iPhone. He's a web kinda guy.
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