@SoNotBrendan: I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that's a lot of weed.
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@TwinSurvivalist: Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots.
@adamlucidi: All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won.
@c_always_wright: high school was the free trial version of college. “if you wish to continue your education you can buy the complete pack for $50,000”