@LazerPunch: I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?
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@TravLeBlanc: Everyone is just looking for that special someone who could do way better but chooses not to for some inexplicable reason.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There’s something wrong with your counting. 4: There’s something wrong with the dog.
@BlindChow: [last supper] Judas: Here, I brought this Jesus: A bottle of wine? Srsly? I need that like I need a hole in my hand Judas: *winks at camera*
@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.