@LazerPunch: I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WittySassBasket: A funny thing I like to do is yell 'God, not your WHOLE hand' when the doctor does a pelvic exam.
@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally switched the baby formula with coconut milk and now my newborn is complaining that her lullabies are "too mainstream."
@onelongbender: Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.