@TheTalkingPipe: I read you can have a stroke without displaying any symptoms and I was like "holy shit, I'm definitely not displaying any symptoms!"
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@DrDogMD: PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.
@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't talk about my ex's because I like to start of with a clean slate. That, and they're dead to me. Well, to everyone, but mostly me.