@cray_at_home_ma: I realize I put this off but how much weight can I lose in 2 hours?
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@AtticusFinch79: [murder scene] Snail detective 1-He left a decent trail SD2- Let's track him down *10 hours later* SD1-Damn that guy is fast
@Playing_Dad: *consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now.
@VanGobot: *falls down several flights of stairs, breaking multiple bones* ME: *into headset mic* I'm in
@jessokfine: People always throwing cursed objects into the sea hello, no that is how you get haunted sharks