@TurnpikeTony: I really don't get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she's at least 18.
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@JessicaVarsity: Twitter is like a dog: There's always someone who loves you for you... there's also always someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.
@KentWGraham: If you text your boss that you can’t come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn’t ask any questions.