@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!
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@UGotMeRight: The wife convinced me into taking her to Hawaii if she lost 20 pounds. You'd be surprised how many M&M's someone can swallow in their sleep.
@PhoenixRises69: It makes me sad that the closest I'll ever get to 'hulking out' is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
@DaddyJew: Honey, I think the milks gone bad "what makes you say that dear?" *milk presses the gun to my back* just a hunch, btw where's your purse?
@Bagyants: If you love something, let it go. From the creators of "If you're tired, go for a run," and "If you're on fire, eat bees"