@lovemydogduck: I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe.
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@StellaRtwot: *hands cashier $100 bill "Ya have anything smaller?" *crumbles up $100 bill and hands it to cashier
@Xalqee: My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike