@zachreinert03: I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
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@PaperWash: Perfect Date: 1) Get kids out of the house 2) Light some candles 3) Burn the house down 4) Collect the insurance 5) Take her somewhere nice
@jonnysun: i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"
@AsgardianRose: Being an adult means I'm in charge of my own bedtime, and I've realized I'm not equipped to handle that responsibility.