@zachreinert03: I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
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@LilBlueBlood: Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today.
@KentWGraham: I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren’t allowed to talk about what they did at work all day.
@BlindChow: [hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. "Yay!" Sorry ur VEIN went viral…you have a fatal blood disease. "So wait–my Vine didn't go viral?"