@PressOneForNo: I really hope my 2 year old daughter is this difficult to get into bed when she's 18
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@gobmentcheese: A romcom where I go to stop you at the airport, except I go to Cinnabon & then forget why I'm at the airport.
@WilliamRodgers: Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen...
@SadieSkyNinja: [if my cat tweeted] When "over 38" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If this Starbucks barista calls me m'lady one more fucking time I'm going to put on my knight's armor and make him my squire.