@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
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@jordan_stratton: I don't want to be cremated when I die. I want my body thrown on a group of unsuspecting, cocky teens in a haunted house.
@Neauxpe: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door.
@WeissBrandon: If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups.