@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
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@Shock_Monster: The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.
@MartaEffing: Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything.
@whereami18: A close talker, a loud talker, and a cougher walked into an elevator to punish me for not hitting the close door button fast enough.
@jwoodham: The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.