@NikiWithIssues: I really miss Jake. And Clyde. And Marissa. Gina too. I should stop naming my cupcakes right before I eat them. :(
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@TheHyyyype: [paying at chipotle] ME: i got a burrito CLERK: that'll be ten dollars ME: with guac CLERK: that'll be ten thousand dollars
@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!