@chrissyteigen: I really really really really clearly am not a PC type of gal but I'm a little weirded out at the oriental dressing option on my flight
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@TheToddWilliams: [dinner, my place] "This tastes like pork?" ME: You asked for a nice swine "No, a nice wine" ME: Oh, okay…you still want the crap cakes?
@HairyJew4Life: Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser