@qwertying: I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
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@Dutch_50: Newspapers are cool because you can cut out eye holes and spy on people. Try that with an iPad.
@jake_lach: Apparently, if she's refused to speak to you for two days your text should not be 'Why are you mad again?'
@TEXASVETERAN: A hooker once showed me her dollar menu. Her meat actually did resemble McDonald's.