@lloydrang: "I really thought by now we'd all have robots," he wrote, typing on a small device containing the sum of the world's knowledge.
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@jackmackenroth: I was out with my bf and a waiter called me a 'cradle robber' cuz he's 18 and I'm 43. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.
@UnFitz: Bisexuals are lucky. To the rest of us, life is a restaurant where you're allergic to half the items on the menu.
@s_cLaN07: My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
@ibid78: I put my pants on just like everyone else. With the help of my twelve most trusted cats.