@lloydrang: "I really thought by now we'd all have robots," he wrote, typing on a small device containing the sum of the world's knowledge.
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@Brampersandon_: FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*
@NotThatKevin: At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven't got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton.