@CherBear162: I really want a Popsicle but I'm so not in the mood for Freezer Jenga.
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@asimplesean: Just saw a dog with three legs. He did have a fourth leg, but he also had three legs.
@novicefather: Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not "like Dan Aykroyd."
@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac