@caribbeanaj: I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced a year ago, but she said I was only after my money.
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@Smethanie: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.
@Karissajem: Me: I'm quitting to go play guitar for Metallica. Boss: Wow! I wasn't aware that you even played guitar. Me: Let's not make this difficult.
@Playing_Dad: Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?