@gerryhallcomedy: "I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over" - guy who invented the accordion
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@themorris23: To all the "cougars" out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves "Thundercats" shame. on. you.
@KThonvold: People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up
@iamjeffsloan: Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life.
@PencilWalrus: [Job interview] "What would you say is your greatest strength?" "Sticking my fingers in people's mouths." "Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"