@gerryhallcomedy: "I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over" - guy who invented the accordion
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@TheRobCee: [Jr. Biology class, girls in jumpsuits burst in] OK, who's ready for fun? We're The Photosynthesisters & we're gonna talk 2 U about PLANTS!
@jus4golf: My wife said she for Lent she was giving up eating meat. I thought she did that after the wedding vows.
@TheNardvark: I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as "all of it."