@mydmac: I really wish my twitter crush would scream out my name instead of 'hey you' every time he catches me in the tree in his front yard.
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@Dutch_50: Seems I can never find good brussels sprouts at the store, so I decided to grow them myself. Turns out I don't like brussels sprouts.
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy