@Midgetspar: I received a basketball in the mail from Amazon. I haven't played basketball in 20 years but apparently drunk me thinks I'm Michael Jordan.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jtrulez: Fear does not exist in this dojo. And neither does air conditioning or proper ventilation, so you will all be sparring in your underwear.
@mrtruthandsoul: An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes.
@JustDontBugMe: [Secret Meeting] God: We need to create something Magical Angel: Yes, Sir G: Call it Unicorn A: *Tries and fails G: Call it rhinoceros
@jjax44: I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone's like "New sandwich?"