@Midgetspar: I received a basketball in the mail from Amazon. I haven't played basketball in 20 years but apparently drunk me thinks I'm Michael Jordan.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_troyjohnson: Worst idea you’ll ever have is oiling your 4 year-old’s squeaky bedroom door. Congratulations, you just made a ninja.
@crushingbort: They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people