@FinnMcIver: I recently bought one of those Dutch ovens, but everything I cook ends up tasting like farts.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] So, what's your back story? "I have scoliosis" No, I mean your BACK STORY, like your history "Oh! I got scoliosis as a child"
@therealeatwood: [Watching Amityville Horror remake from 2005] ME: Don’t buy it! Don’t buy that house! YOU IDIOTS! THE REAL ESTATE MARKET IS ABOUT TO CRASH!