@NYC_Blonde: I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight.
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@JohnLyonTweets: The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I'm never entirely sure we really made plans.
@mlkef: Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.
@peetiesays: Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas.