@Shadrach451: I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn until they publicly specify what holiday they are referring to.
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@somecleverthing: Want to avoid making excuses when people ask you to hang out? Always say no when someone asks "wanna hear something amazing?"
@sageboggs: No Shave November No Deodorant December Lose Your Job January Forget To Pay Rent February Move in With Mom and Dad March
@nbadag: [jurassic world] ME: so what ur saying is, no one milks the dinosaurs bc it's too dangerous TOUR GUIDE: that is not what i'm saying at all
@bobbiejo448: 5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world.