@Shadrach451: I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn until they publicly specify what holiday they are referring to.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: He shouldn't have died so young, but he also shouldn't have cut the grass at 7:30 am on a Sunday. (I'm writing my neighbors obituary)
@T_Bonezzz: Been dating this new chick and some days i like her and some days i don't. so i made her a mixed signal tape
@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.