@joshgondelman: I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.
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@AnOrangeSNES: "Sir, is this gluten free?" The waiter nods happily "Great," I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, "I'm building a gluten fort!"
@InternetHippo: SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that’s also my reason
@VodkaThursday: My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit
@iwearaonesie: She said, "Are you even listening to me? This is important!" I said, "I don't know, pizza?" And that's how the fight started