@ryan_rachryan80: I regret to inform you that I've had better lays from a bag of chips.
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@prontopup: "'Earth' without 'the' is just 'ar'." - Pirates If you haven't seen "Earth without art is just eh" then you prolly didn't like this tweet.
@electrolemon: i wanna see the masterchef jr deleted scenes that HAVE to exist of gordon ramsay calling a kid the c-word for trying to julienne a snickers
@KevinFarzad: It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."