@ryan_rachryan80: I regret to inform you that I've had better lays from a bag of chips.
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@TheHyyyype: WIFE: i have a gynecologist exam today ME: what?? i didn't even know you were in med school
@crushingbort: "there's only one thing to do when you're Zero Dark Thirsty" *Navy Seals bust in and toss Bin Laden a Coke Zero, he pounds it in like 5 sec*
@ch000ch: call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call.
@HiddenPinky: How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.