@jctwritesstuff: [First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!

@KeetPotato: [interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding] lol a horse drawn carriage? "what's funny about that?" a horse can't hold a pencil karen

@JohnnyCrash5: [Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?

@alispagnola: Carpe DM

@QwertyJones3: Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???