@Just_Beachy72: I relate more to "Rice, rice, baby" - because Asian
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@PetrickSara: What I say: Play outside. What my kid hears: Find a spot in the yard where I can't see you so I constantly imagine you've been kidnapped.
@markydoodoo: [CREATING GROUNDHOGS] GOD: a rat dog ANGEL: check GOD: that whispers to white people ANGEL: what? GOD: about the weather ANGEL:
@PetrickSara: Them: children are innocent and go to heaven Me: so you're saying Hell is child free?
@msgwenl: The thing about eating broken cookies is there's no way to know how many you had. "You ate the whole ba-" THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW.