@Just_Beachy72: I relate more to "Rice, rice, baby" - because Asian
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@MikeZakarian: Anxiety = waiting to see if the middle seat will stay unoccupied as people are boarding your flight.
@AndyAsAdjective: [1st date] WAITER: and how would you like your steak, miss? HER: definitely not wooden *winks across table* DRACULA: *just glares at her*
@jngraphs: *Tweets funniest tweet ever *Dies laughing *Over 6 billion die laughing *Germany and Russia survive *Coz nobody left to explain the joke
@Brianhopecomedy: I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.