@paulrobalino: I rely on a little boy to tell me how I feel and boy, are my arms tired?
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@joebirbigs: I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.
@Jessberrie: I worked as a programmer for autocorrect but the fried me for no raisin #PunYourJob
@KyleMcDowell86: "Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming" "We're not bring ur new chainsaw-" "HER NAME'S DEBBY"
@TheDjinnTrials: Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping.