@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.
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@Supafunkadunka: Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
@CynicalLongkat: Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?
@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes
@Kyle_Lippert: 911 I JUST SAW TWO TRANSFORMERS FIGHTING "Mr Bay, please stop doing this every time you see a car crash"