@livingnBoston: I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UncleBob56: Stopped the microwave at 0:01 AND stopped the gas pump at an even $50.00! *Adds Bomb Squad Specialist to resume.
@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
@davidschneider: I hope God rethinks his decision to allow an intern to run celebrity deaths in 2016.