@JosesLovesYou: I remember back in the day when you had to roll up a tiny scroll and give it to a falcon to tweet
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@chopper4jk: Text: How come you stopped drinking? Me: Because I kept waking up with you. Her: I hate you.
@jlock17: I FEEL SO ALIVE MCDONALD'S IS GIVING AWAY FREE COFFEE I PASSED 20 MCDONALD'S TODAY DO THE MATH TOO LATE I DID THE MATH SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS
@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
@Try2StopME: Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.