@JosesLovesYou: I remember back in the day when you had to roll up a tiny scroll and give it to a falcon to tweet
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LimeyTheGreat: Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me "Where would you like to sit?" I replied "preferably on a seat." #accomplished
@living_marble: Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong.
@carlyken:  "Your majesty, last night some angry colonists dumped our tea into the Boston Harbor" *three English ladies faint* WTF THIS MEANS WAR
@AmericanGent69: Co-Worker: Poor John has been single forever. We should set him up. Me: *hiding cocaine and a gun in his office desk* I’m on it.