@UnFitz: I remember when it was called "drinking a glass of water" instead of "hydrating."
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@benicus_rex: The barber asked me "do u have any kids" & I said "I do not, no" and he got very quiet, realize now he probs thought I said "I do not know"
@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?
@jazmasta: Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 "hits"; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels.