@UnFitz: I remember when it was called "drinking a glass of water" instead of "hydrating."
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@ibid78: CASHIER: is there anything else I can help you with? ME: *pulls out my trigonometry homework from 1995* yes, yes there is
@bridger_w: "Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation
@Thynebear: [Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won't stop following me.