@CountMackula: I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple.
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@TheCiscoKidder: You know you spend too much time with your kids when there's Sesame Street music in your head while mentally undressing women.
@iAmDelFreaky: Haha! My mom said I can't use my phone at the dinner table. I'm a grown... This is Del's mom, he'll be back after he eats his dinner.
@RobElliottComic: When I see a couple fighting I like to walk up to the one who's more pissed off and whisper "We can make it look like a suicide" and wink
@zachreinert03: I got fired from being the events coordinator at the local orphanage. I think it's cause family day never really took off