@juliussharpe: I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?
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@Love_bug1016: What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*
@Sickayduh: Professor: "Did you just show up drunk to my exam?" No way "Hungover then?" Nope "There's a lime wedge on your face"
@5hael: My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident