@juliussharpe: I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?
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@RocketRankoon: Facebook: "Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]
@sarousti: FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building
@LoveNLunchmeat: STOP ACTING LIKE THIS GROCERY STORE GIFT CARD ISN'T ROMANTIC. WHO DOESN'T LIKE FOOD?