@rad_milk: i replaced babies in these pictures with hotdogs to show america what really matters
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@Rollmaninoz: *pterodactyl wakes his wife up pissing at 3am* WIFE: I thought your pee was supposed to be silent!!!
@fro_vo: Mom: if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you jump too Me: no Mom: how about 1 friend Me: what Mom: ok no friends & a ride there
@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
@PMTheron1: I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid.