@OhNoSheTwitnt: I reply to "Happy New Year" with "not if I have anything to do with it."
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@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene
@sass_n_ass: No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook.
@djdarrellripley: My online therapist says you can't live your life in fear....He also sells shampoo.