@weinerdog4life: I rescued a seagull, taught it karate and named it Steven, so what?
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@Cheeseboy22: I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word "whatevs" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run.
@Not_From_Troy: My ambition is to be the last man on earth so that I can find out if all those girls were telling the truth.
@Rlpihl: Oh yeah I was in a gang in high school! Well not like a real gang, it was more of a Trigonometry Club. But we still flashed sines.
@ThRealBallsDeep: <at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.