@weinerdog4life: I rescued a seagull, taught it karate and named it Steven, so what?
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@sozjalltheway: Meanwhile on Facebook, Susan is doing a quiz, to find out what kind of sea monster, her Ex is.
@nbadag: [restaurant] *patpatpat* ME: you hear that? *patpatPATPAT* DATE: what the [penguin bolts out of kitchen with a fish] CHEF: SOMEBODY STOP HIM
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I don't like online shopping. I'm old school. I need to touch it, smell it, taste it. Her: I still need you to leave our lingerie store.