@NINETIREDBUGS: i respect snow plows bc their whole job is to take a giant mess and push it to the side for someone else to deal w later
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@MartaEffing: A humpback whale pulling millions of krill into its mouth, but it's me at a party where they just served shrimp.
@iamspacegirl: *I open my McDonald's bag and a bunch of dirty pigeons fly out* Narrator: The McPigeon, new from McDonald's
@LuvPug: Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car.
@quintabrunson: Lindor chocolates are amazing and I'm not sure how everyone isn't talking about them all the time. P.S please don't tell me anything bad about them right now, like if the owner is racist or something. let me finish this bag first.