@canadian_jane: I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@magicraisin: She said: "I want to have your children." . Me: "They'll be on the first bus in the morning."
@lejessica: I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching.
@JohnLyonTweets: Dear 6-year-old me: As an adult you won't need to know cursive but you will need an ability to type with your thumbs. The future is weird.
@causticbob: Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people. Why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery.