@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notacroc: Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA
@therealeatwood: ME: [spraying hose to make a rainbow over a bear trap] WIFE: stop trying to trap a leprechaun ME: I really want a pot of gold or some cereal
@Coastiefish: Don't say "ATM machine". The "M" already stands for "machine". It's redundant. It's like saying "end result" or "racist Fox News Anchor".
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I guess it all started when I was younger- Her: Sir, unless there's a problem with the gas pump, don't push the button to talk to me